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Check your self-esteem before you check your social media! | Beckie Coupe

Personal Development coach and mentor, Karen Mary Wilson, joins us on the blog to help us make our experiences on social media a whole lot more positive. Karen shares some fantastic tips and exercises in this blog post that will help you leave social media feeling better than when you arrived!

“In this post, I’ll share the questions to ask before you go online, what to be aware of whilst you are
there, and how to leave social media feeling better than when you arrived.

Some days, social media, wherever your favourite social media place is Facebook, Instagram,
Twitter or other, is the BEST place in the whole wide world, and you love it. Your favourite people
are there, your tribe are there, and you feel all warm and fuzzy for being there, you are grateful for
the internet and the ability to be close to others despite time differences and geographical distance.

Some days social media is a terrible place and you wish that you’d never opened your app, the
comments are awful, you have no privacy, your boss in on your back 24/7 and you are not feeling
the connection it was meant to be.

And some days it can leave you feeling meh, subtly and dangerously affecting you and you don’t
know why.

It can affect:

  • Your Mood
  • Your Day
  • Your Relationships
  • Your Business

Everything that is important to you, and it can do this subtly, leaving you feeling out of sorts but you
don’t know why!

Ask yourself these questions before you go on social media each time:

Q1. What am I going online for?
Q2. Are you going out of habit, rather than purpose?
Q3. Are you going online because you feel you SHOULD go online?
Q4. How am I feeling right now?

Your power is in this question: ‘How am I feeling right now?’

How are you feeling about yourself? You can write out a few sentences, you can give yourself a
score out of 10, you can use whatever measure feels right for you.

  • Are you feeling?
  • Great, nothing can bring you down….
  • Okay, not really thought about it
  • A bit meh
  • Sad, upset, frustrated, looking for support

There is no right or wrong answer, only your answer, what is it for you?

What to be aware of whilst you are on social media

We have all heard of fake news and terrible things happening online and we always think, ‘Oh
that’ll never happen to me’, and that is my wish for you too.

Yet we would be foolish to go online without having some awareness about it because it has the
potential to be unsafe. You don’t drive a car without insurance, you don’t eat out of date food that
could make you poorly; keep up this level of awareness when you go online.

Social media is one large playground.

As with the school playground you don’t want to play with everyone in the playground, you only want to
play with your friends who love you, support you and add to your experience there.

Also, as with school, there can be bullies in the playground. The thing is, playground bullying doesn’t
stay in the playground it can leak into adulthood and the workplace.

Use your awareness to know that none of this bullying belongs to you AND you can refuse to
accept it.

How to leave social media feeling better than when you arrived

Revisit your answers to the four questions and know WHY you are going online. If you are going to fill time, make sure it is entertainment that will fill you up, that will bring you joy, that will make you laugh, that will inspire you, that will make you feel delighted that you spent ten minutes there.

Go to give your love to others, to your friends on your personal page, to your followers on your
business page, and to your tribe in your groups. Go to give them a hug, a laugh, to share a tip, to
give advice and information that will serve them, go to give ❤

Go to receive, accept the love others want to give you, from your friends on your personal page,
from your followers on your business page, and to your tribe in your groups. Go to accept a hug,
enjoy a laugh, to have an AHA moment after reading a tip, to take advice and information that will
serve you in the future, go to receive.

Leave everything else behind, leave the drama, leave the gossip, leave the negativity and the
naysayers, They do not belong to you, you can refuse to accept it.

This is YOUR social media and yours alone. You have permission to only have people in it you love, you CAN personalise your feed, you can remove and unfriend anyone who doesn’t bring you joy and YES that can and often does include family.

Social media is there for two reasons

1 ~ to personally enjoy ~ to stay connected with friends and loved ones
2 ~ to build a business that you love

Enjoy these two reasons, and leave the rest behind.

Then ask yourself ‘How are you feeling about yourself?’ review your score from above.
Using these steps will have you leaving social media feeling better than you arrived. 😊

Get in touch and let me know what you do to leave social media feeling better than when you
arrived.

Love Karen xx

About Karen Mary Wilson

I’m, Karen Mary Wilson – I’m a personal development coach and mentor. I started my business and management training with a nationalised industry, back in the day when they were a thing, qualifying in Business and Finance. I went on to qualify in the public sector via The IRRV – Institute of Revenues Rating and Valuation, then onto the public sector, qualifying with my AFPC Advanced Financial Planning Certificate and much more, before holding the position of Company Director and Company Secretary with colleagues in our Limited Company.

My love of learning and qualifying runs alongside my love of people, I’ve been the Membership Secretary for both the Life and Pensions Group Glasgow and the Association of Scottish Businesswomen. And I’ve been helping people build their confidence in the workplace, all the way up to dealing with bullies in the boardroom since qualifying as a Business Coach in 2007, so I know my stuff!

Many professionals have learned how not to be afraid to go to work, how not to be afraid to go home, about how to speak up for themselves, how to stand up for themselves, and falling in love with their work again, from our one to one work together.

I’ve completed marathons, broken boards and firewalked. You are in safe hands.

Love Karen xx

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